1
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,775
Class, it's time
for our standardized test

2
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,112
to see how well the school
taught to the standardized test.

3
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,981
- [students groan]
- Yes! I mean...

4
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,117
[groans]

5
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:18,551
You have 30 minutes

6
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:21,421
or however long it takes me
to swipe through every guy

7
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,492
in this town
I haven't already... met.

8
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,460
[pencil tapping]

9
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,597
[fingers tapping]

10
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,742
[tapping and whirring continue]

11
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,110
[groans]

12
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,618
[growls]

13
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,087
Huh?

14
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,624
[Lisa humming]

15
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,497
Huh?

16
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,268
[growls]

17
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,237
[grunting angrily]

18
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:16,443
Why does Hubert get to take
the test in that paradise?

19
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,412
They turned my mop closet
into a quiet room

20
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:21,348
for Hubert's unique needs.

21
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,450
What about Willie's unique need?

22
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,886
A quiet room
to sob into his mop?

23
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:27,953
[Lisa]
Hmm.

24
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,390
He also gets extra time.

25
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,058
Extra time?

26
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,060
Well, I guess if he needs it.

27
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,762
Although that means
I'm getting less time than him.

28
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,466
We all want
a level playing field, right?

29
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,801
Shouldn't I also get extra time?

30
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:44,104
Of course you should, lassie.

31
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,539
[sobbing]

32
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,808
I'm here for an assessment.

33
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,378
Looking to get
extra time on tests?

34
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,380
No. As an intrepid psychonaut,

35
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:57,951
I yearn to explore
the inner workings of my mind.

36
00:01:58,084 --> 00:01:59,285
[receptionist]
Hmm.

37
00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:02,255
So what are we testing for?

38
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,491
She's not here for extra time.

39
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,827
It's a secondary motivation
at best.

40
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:12,232
We'll be testing you for three
neurological differences today.

41
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,967
Here's the first one. Go nuts.

42
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,236
Oops. I'm not supposed
to say that word.

43
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,604
One of our crazy rules.

44
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,240
Ah, sorry, not supposed
to say that either.

45
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:23,309
One of our crazy regulations.

46
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:24,711
Okay.

47
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,848
[Lisa reading]

48
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,387
??Book report, book report.??

49
00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:37,784
- [screaming]
- Okay. Well, maybe I was a little fixated,

50
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,427
but nothing
like Principal Skinner.

51
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,797
Principal Skinner,
there's a fire!

52
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,867
??School budget,
school budget.??

53
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,672
Whatever this is testing for,

54
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:56,743
I think Principal Skinner
has a lot of it.

55
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:05,585
[Lisa reading]

56
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,789
What the hell
happened here, Seymour?

57
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:11,725
[stammers]
I'm not sure.

58
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:15,695
I was working on the school
budget, and, uh, now it's now.

59
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,930
"Now it's now" is
the first thing you've said

60
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,467
that makes sense,
and it doesn't even make sense.

61
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,602
You can take it up
with the school board

62
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,772
when you speak to them
this afternoon.

63
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:28,241
[gasps]
The board?

64
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,245
[Lisa reading]

65
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:37,050
I respect a man
who still uses a handkerchief.

66
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,618
It's not a handkerchief.

67
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:41,668
I was so nervous, I ripped out
the lining of my pants pocket.

68
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,923
I see. This meeting
is to discuss

69
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,592
the school budget you submitted.

70
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,461
Oh, no, you hated it.
Was it the font?

71
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,163
Font Aficionadomagazine

72
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,465
said that Garamond
was making a comeback.

73
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,068
Well, once we got past
all those serifs,

74
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,803
the budget was exemplary.

75
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:59,506
In fact, we're giving you
a promotion.

76
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,707
[gasps]

77
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:03,442
You're the new principal
of Springfield High School.

78
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:06,346
High school? But I don't know
anything about teenagers.

79
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:09,416
I'll have to read years
ofTiger Beatto catch up.

80
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,851
We have every confidence in you.

81
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:16,389
Oh, I'm so honored,
I'm shedding tears of joy.

82
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,329
Okay. Kids are just kids.

83
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,465
These ones just
have cars, mustaches,

84
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,865
and strange clouds of vapor

85
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,102
emanating from their
ballpoint pens.

86
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,238
[Lisa reading]

87
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:33,606
Good morning, Shauna.

88
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,342
[sarcastically]
Oh, awesome.

89
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,511
My dad's flunky is
our new principal.

90
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,747
Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

91
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,750
The students
are going to love you.

92
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:47,454
They're totally not gonna
slash your tires.

93
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,055
- [tire pops]
- [air hisses]

94
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,789
Great. I won't turn around
to check

95
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,693
what that hissing noise is,
then.

96
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:57,263
Tuck in that shirt.
Change that shirt.

97
00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:02,102
Put on a shirt.
Good God, not that shirt. Ugh!

98
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,904
[Lisa reading]

99
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,375
Novel problems
require familiar solutions.

100
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,944
Detention slips at the ready.

101
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,013
?? ??

102
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,261
Welcome to Saturday detention.

103
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,528
For the next eight hours,

104
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:30,929
you're going
to sit here quietly,

105
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:34,134
thus becoming the best versions
of yourselves.

106
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:35,267
Say less.

107
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,270
Don't budget my verbiage.

108
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,673
"Say less" means "I get it."

109
00:05:39,674 --> 00:05:42,074
I'm not sure I "say less"
what you're saying,

110
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,645
but I'll take it up with Google
tonight after my bath.

111
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,947
Ew.

112
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,550
I can't believe
a brooding outsider like me

113
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,420
is stuck here
with a jock, a princess,

114
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,422
a Kearney, and a brain.

115
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,158
I'm not a brain.
I'm failing choir.

116
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,693
My dad's really mad.

117
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,828
I'm never gonna be
like my old man.

118
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:05,765
He's 41
and losing his hair dots.

119
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,635
Teenage angst.

120
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:09,568
[grunts]

121
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,939
[Lisa reading]

122
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,709
I'm becoming overstimulated
by this noisy environment.

123
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,445
What is the problem here?

124
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,680
I'm tired of having to act cool.

125
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,316
I'm tired of having
to act uncool.

126
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,185
I'm tired of playing sports.

127
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,354
And I'm tired
of dressing pretty.

128
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,556
Then stop doing those things.

129
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,791
[students]
Don't tell us what to do.

130
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,994
[Lisa reading]

131
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:37,497
Well, you're all students,
so education

132
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,031
is clearly your main priority,

133
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,469
and you're teenagers,
so there's no sexual tension.

134
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,038
[both moaning]

135
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,741
I have a kid.

136
00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:49,908
I just don't understand
why you're fighting.

137
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,979
After you graduate, none of you
will ever see each other.

138
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,581
High school doesn't matter.

139
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,883
The new principal is right.

140
00:06:57,017 --> 00:07:00,086
This really is the best time
of our lives.

141
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,722
I love you guys.

142
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,525
Ugh, that wasn't
my point at all.

143
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,726
Detention isn't about
learning lessons.

144
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,957
It's about sitting still
and being unhappy.

145
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,967
But we've changed
as individuals and as a group.

146
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,736
And maybe you have, too.

147
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,508
Nope. Change isn't my thing.

148
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,910
And neither is high school.
I quit.

149
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,747
You can't leave us. You're the
best principal we've ever had.

150
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,749
Say less.
And I mean that literally,

151
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,819
not in your new weird way.

152
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,223
[Lisa reading]

153
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,394
??Don't you??

154
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,130
??Forget about me??

155
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,233
??Don't, don't, don't, don't.??

156
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,574
Ready for section two,
or do you need a break?

157
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,410
Is my answer
part of the assessment?

158
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,812
[laughs]
No.

159
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,548
We're not judging
everything you do in this room.

160
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,184
Okay, then.
I don't need a break.

161
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,752
Mm-hmm.

162
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:06,986
Hmm.

163
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,290
[Lisa reading]

164
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,658
Hmm... No.

165
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:15,161
But I'm related
to someone who is.

166
00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:20,432
[Homer]
Huh?

167
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,868
Marge, I'm fat.

168
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,070
Homie, I don't care
what you look like,

169
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,605
as long as you're healthy.

170
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:29,642
I didn't say I looked bad.
Phone, how do I eat healthier?

171
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,709
Hmm.

172
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,112
From this moment on,

173
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:35,949
I'm focusing only
on taking control of my health.

174
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,084
- [phone buzzes]
- Ooh, a text from Lenny.

175
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,352
- [phone buzzes]
- Ooh, a WhatsApp from Zutroy.

176
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,757
- [phone buzzes]
- Ooh, a TikTok about sports mascot fails.

177
00:08:43,758 --> 00:08:46,258
- [phone buzzes]
- Ooh, a Silver Alert for Grampa.

178
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:50,430
- [phone buzzes]
- Ooh, a pop-up meat sandwich restaurant.

179
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,631
Kids, get in the car.

180
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,600
We're getting meat sandwiches.

181
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,969
I thought you were gonna
eat healthier.

182
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,404
We're doing what?

183
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:01,341
- [car horn honking]
- [Homer imitating horn] Meat, meat! Meat!

184
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,209
[Bart groans]

185
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,359
Hmm? Ooh.

186
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,945
[puzzled grunting]

187
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,247
Wait.
[laughs]

188
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,615
Hmm?

189
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,350
[puzzled grunting]

190
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,619
[giggles]

191
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:16,089
[Lisa reading]

192
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,925
Oh, this line is so long.

193
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,761
What's my brain supposed to do
while we wait?

194
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,464
I'll get out my Homer toys.

195
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,933
?? ??

196
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:37,410
[groans]
I need a bigger bag.

197
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,912
Finally.

198
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:43,683
Now, to look at the large
posted menu for the first time.

199
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,153
[Lisa reading]

200
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,523
What to get? What to get?

201
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,025
[others groan]

202
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,761
Ooh, they have meat sandwiches.

203
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,529
Oh, come on, Big Dumb.

204
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,965
We know you're gonna order
one of everything.

205
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:03,403
I want... [gasps] a turkey leg.

206
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,907
We waited in the sandwich line
for over an hour.

207
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,010
We have to order something here.

208
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,211
Actually, we don't.

209
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,080
You're falling victim
to the sunk cost fallacy.

210
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,083
I started reading a book
about sunk costs and hated it,

211
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,552
but I had to finish
because I needed to find out

212
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:21,287
what the fallacy was.

213
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,555
Uh...

214
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,290
Turkey leg!

215
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,559
[laughs]
Whee!

216
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:30,030
[Lisa reading]

217
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,600
I should probably have
a vegetable with this.

218
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,136
Aim for the ketchup tent.

219
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:42,442
Sir, it's not safe
to throw you into a tent.

220
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,412
Just chuck me close.
I'll bounce.

221
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,117
At least you're
behaving yourself.

222
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:55,121
Because I'm on my meds.
I remember the old days, though.

223
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:59,459
If only there were a way
for Dad to medicate himself.

224
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,129
Oh, I love
the honey taste of mead.

225
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,332
It's like when I was drunk
and that beehive fell on me.

226
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,734
Leatherworking.

227
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,502
[gasps]
I'm gonna make a belt.

228
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,072
All mine keep shrinking.

229
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,207
[family sighs]

230
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,212
Perfect fit.
Now to stab the hole.

231
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,714
- [gasps]
- [grunts]

232
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,751
Now that we've stayed in place
for five minutes,

233
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,019
I can actually enjoy myself.

234
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:29,522
I've almost finished
making myself a new bigger bag.

235
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,092
Thanks, Homie. Homie?

236
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,761
[Lisa reading]

237
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,028
- Out of the way, old man.
- Aah!

238
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,798
Glassblowing.
[gasps]

239
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,369
Jousting!
[gasps]

240
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:43,402
[gags]

241
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,071
[screams]

242
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,638
[groans]

243
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,108
[coughs]

244
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,643
[gasps, giggles]

245
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,113
[panting]

246
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,282
[giggles]
Ooh.

247
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,786
Come on, pointy head.
Kill square head.

248
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,654
Go for the eye hole.

249
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,189
Do it for thy favor.

250
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,119
Dad, could we have some money
to buy papal indulgences?

251
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,160
It's five dollars
for partial remittance

252
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,930
but only $7.50
for a whole plenary.

253
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,667
Quiet, kids.
Daddy's watching sports.

254
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:17,537
[Lisa reading]

255
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:19,405
Uh-oh.

256
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,807
- [groans]
- [crowd gasps]

257
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,474
I'm gonna take him
to the doctor.

258
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:26,146
I'm gonna dress up and
steal people's change purses.

259
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,417
Mm-hmm.

260
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,322
Now remember,
leave those leeches on

261
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,824
for at least a half an hour.

262
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,424
And if the dark humors return,

263
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,796
one of the women in your
household is probably a witch.

264
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,864
[sighs]
You've had a big day.

265
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:48,001
Maybe we should get back
to the 21st century.

266
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,071
Sounds like witch talk.

267
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,707
A very good morrow's eve
to you, fine sir.

268
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,809
I am Leonardo da Vinci.

269
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:59,179
Behold my astounding inventions.

270
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,449
[Lisa reading]

271
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,985
I painted theMona Lisa
in the year...

272
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,088
Womp-wah, womp-womp-womp-wah.

273
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,257
And... womp-wah,
womp-womp-wah, womp-wah.

274
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,526
Vitruvian.
Womp-womp-womp-wah.

275
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,996
Da Vinci was truly the
Renaissance's Renaissance man.

276
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,600
And this was his most
spectacular invention,

277
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,003
the flying machine.

278
00:13:23,004 --> 00:13:24,803
Alas, he never finished it.
Flavin.

279
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:29,275
Some speculate that Da Vinci
suffered from a form of ADHD.

280
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,212
Maybe I can finish
his flying machine.

281
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,880
Finish? You?

282
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,648
Name one thing you finished

283
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:40,020
during this entire, endless,
exhausting day. Or ever.

284
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,188
I finished caring
about Da Vinci.

285
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:45,291
[scoffs] This whole Renaissance
was a big waste of time.

286
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,461
Me and all the loot I looted
are taking an Uber home.

287
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,430
Stop right there, cutpurse.

288
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,900
You just committed the worst
of all Ren faire crimes:

289
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,301
breaking character.

290
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,437
Ye shall be consigned
to the stocks

291
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:02,175
and have tomatoes thrown
upon your personage. Yeah, ye.

292
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,176
They didn't even
have tomatoes in Europe

293
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,287
during the Renaissance,
and if they did,

294
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,381
people wouldn't be
throwing them.

295
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,216
Calories were scarce.

296
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:13,019
- Lock this one up, too.
- On what charge?

297
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,389
Uh, we can probably
make heresy stick.

298
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:21,461
Who knows how many fortnights
you'll be away? Take a snack.

299
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,531
I've got some string cheese
in my new bag.

300
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,533
No outside food.

301
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,670
I feel a little bad
for yelling at your father

302
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,072
for just being who he is.

303
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,908
Yeah. A day with Dad
can be challenging,

304
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,376
but it's never boring.

305
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:39,179
But it's weird how many times
we end up in stocks.

306
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,613
He might get distracted,

307
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:44,651
but your father never forgets
about his family.

308
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,053
[gasps]
Look, there he is.

309
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,723
I'm coming for you guys!

310
00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:51,191
He's gonna rescue us.

311
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,927
Ooh, meat sandwich pop-up.

312
00:14:53,928 --> 00:14:55,561
[Marge]
Hmm?

313
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,263
I'm coming for you, meat!

314
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:01,201
That's it. I'm putting Ritalin
in his doughnuts.

315
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:09,209
[Lisa reading]

316
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,947
Askew. Askew.

317
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:16,950
- Get out of my store,
you vandal! - Aah!

318
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,618
[sighs]

319
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:27,293
Move that standee
an inch to the left.

320
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,130
Caspershould be
in the undead section.

321
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:33,266
Yoda straight needs to be.

322
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,536
Hmm. Our sales are down
for some reason.

323
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:40,240
I think we need to improve
the energy flow of the space.

324
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:44,678
In other words,
extreme store makeover.

325
00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:47,746
But there's-there's a reason
that everything in this store

326
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,149
is arranged just so.

327
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,918
Why can't we find
another arrangement

328
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,020
that's also pleasing?

329
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,424
[Lisa reading]

330
00:15:57,425 --> 00:15:59,324
[Comic Book Guy]
If she moves things out of place,

331
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:02,996
it will destroy the force field
that protects the store.

332
00:16:05,685 --> 00:16:09,068
But I can't let her
know the truth,

333
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,204
so I must elevate my discourse.

334
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,040
Comic book store.
Comic Book Guy.

335
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,508
End communication.

336
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,744
- [sighs]
- Nailed it.

337
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,182
[groans]

338
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,351
Ooh, what have you done?

339
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:28,054
Something I should have done
long ago-

340
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,823
put some plants in here.

341
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:30,973
Shields are down.

342
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,660
Must restore power.

343
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,496
[Lisa reading]

344
00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,297
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

345
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,934
One, two, three, four.
[panting] One. Two.

346
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,936
Three. Four.

347
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,204
Are you okay?

348
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,407
The force field protecting us,
it's down.

349
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:53,079
What force field?
Don't you see how much better

350
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:56,049
the flow of the energy is
in the space?

351
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,089
Can't we just try it this way?

352
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,792
What's the worst
that could happen?

353
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,744
[gasps]

354
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,566
[Lisa reading]

355
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,471
It feels like it would be bad.

356
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:22,676
What if, instead, we just put
everything back the way it was?

357
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,844
[sighs]
Mm-hmm.

358
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,888
That feels like
it would be bad to me.

359
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:38,391
Oh, my Zod. Do you also
think your actions

360
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,960
are causing
and preventing disasters?

361
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:43,363
- Tsunami.
- Meteor.

362
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,266
I've always known
you're obsessive-compulsive.

363
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,296
The way you organize
your junk drawer

364
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:52,005
or how you chew your Hot Pocket
exactly 72 times.

365
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,408
Well, I don't want
George Lucas to die.

366
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,877
Have you ever been
to a Japanese tea ceremony?

367
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,680
We made OCD into an art form.
[laughs]

368
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,185
You and I have more in common
than we ever knew.

369
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,554
We each hid our private anxiety,

370
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,323
but now that we are
truly open with each other,

371
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,626
our hearts
are perfectly aligned.

372
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,128
[both]
Mwah.

373
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,330
[both]
Two, three, four.

374
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:21,968
??When you wear a mask
to get mail at exactly 3:03??

375
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:26,840
??You'll touch every lamp
to protect us, that's our OCD??

376
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,776
??I'll cause my team to lose
if I watch them??

377
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,845
??Or clean my lucky tee??

378
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,214
??Even tossing salt
over your shoulder??

379
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,583
??Is groupthink OCD??

380
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:40,720
??We all have quirks
bottled up in our brain??

381
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:45,191
??Just 'cause you're crazy
doesn't mean you're insane??

382
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:49,129
??So look to your left
and look to your right??

383
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:53,900
??Then do it three more times
so you don't die in the night??

384
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,204
??Wake-up pills calm me down
when I'm fidgety??

385
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:03,076
??I also medicate
to control my ADHD??

386
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,478
??This is excellent
for stimming??

387
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,480
??Shirt tags bother me??

388
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,250
??Having every
problem above is??

389
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,286
??Comorbidity??

390
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,223
??Magical thinking??

391
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,459
??Excessive drinking??

392
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,861
??Intensive interests??

393
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,264
??Addicted to Pinterest??

394
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:28,501
- ??Echolalia??
- ??Echolalia??

395
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:32,539
??We are all
a little bit crazy??

396
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:36,776
??You might see yourself
in examples we gave??

397
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:41,648
??That make you think
about how you behave??

398
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:45,385
??If you're offended
and ready to walk??

399
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:50,290
??Remember we're only
drawings that talk??

400
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,620
??There's a whole spectrum
of spectrums??

401
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,694
??You might need therapy??

402
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:57,262
- ??Meds for your heads??
- ??Blues before reds??

403
00:19:57,263 --> 00:20:01,134
??Or just some TLC??

404
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,936
??And maybe THC??

405
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,538
??Everybody's got
a little something??

406
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:10,310
??Neurodiversity.??

407
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,880
I'm afraid of crowds.

408
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,551
Lisa, you were singing
in your sleep.

409
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,287
You do a lot of funny voices.

410
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,689
[gasps]
I fell asleep?

411
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,458
What neurological condition
is that a symptom of?

412
00:20:25,459 --> 00:20:27,726
Being tired. I would have
woken you up earlier,

413
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,797
but I was asleep, too.
Anyway, time's up.

414
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:34,067
Oh, no, but I'm not finished.
No, please.

415
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,217
I need extra time.

416
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:39,072
Extra time!

417
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:42,175
Captioning sponsored by
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418
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:43,843
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

419
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,913
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

420
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:54,487
[Lisa] ??Neurological assessment,
neurological assessment.??

421
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,190
- So where'd you get your degree?
- Wesleyan.

422
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:59,726
- Oh.
- Well, Ohio Wesleyan.

423
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:03,697
- Oh.
- Well, Miami of Ohio Wesleyan.

424
00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:05,231
- Oh.
- Well...

425
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,367
I'm just gonna
get back to the test.

426
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,536
We had a really good
lacrosse team.

427
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,619
Oh.

428
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:11,603
[Annette]It's also
where I met my husband.

429
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,873
He helped carry my boxes
on move-in day.

430
00:21:13,907 --> 00:21:16,209
- He was my roommate's dad.
- [Lisa]Oh, my God.

431
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:17,443
[Annette]
Well, we were only roommates

432
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,510
for the first semester.

433
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,878
Then I moved off campus.

434
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,747
But I'd see her when she came
home for the holidays.

435
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,316
It wasn't always easy, you know.

436
00:21:23,317 --> 00:21:24,883
[groans]
Stepkids, am I right?

437
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,885
[Lisa]You married
your roommate's father?

438
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,176
[Annette]He was really nice,
unlike her mom.

439
00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:30,824
She hated me.

440
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:31,925
Shh!

441
00:21:31,975 --> 00:21:36,525
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